perspective scenario

Today i established a new paradigm to life. I have accepted that as an overall trend our external circumstances will only deteriorate going into the future. The situations will only magnify. Bad becoming badder and rich getting richer. Like i said the trend will deteriorate. That means the times are worsening. There may be the good moments or phases as an oddity but nothing is going to improve on the whole. Hence i have given up on cribbing about why the government does not add more buses or trains or hasten the metro station infrastructure work. I have heard a lot of say on "if you want to change the system then be a part of it". I've done that but nothing changes, the only thing that changes is you. All that revolution happens only in the movies and the manga's. The autos will not care stop for you. Your bosses will neither, nor will your vendors.

So you need to factor in all of this and then arrive at a sensible decision before you move that step. The government will stay this way or may worsen so this is what i'll do going ahead. It's a pessimistic opinion but i think it's better to be cautious than curious. When i accept this hypothesis i feel better because i've eliminated all those things that are the cause of my worry each day. I feel more deliberate in my decisions and also know that if things improve even to the slightest then i'll be better off in perspective...

Then...

then...

the calls will cease,

distances increase,

memories will fade,

t'will seem a facade,

voices will be heard,

oh...the times will seem blurred.

until..

in a distant adventure,

with us aging mature,

our tracks may clash,

old moments to flash,

The wait of hope laden,

our passage unto then...

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This was a poem i had written around 3 years back (2007)[Moving it here from my previous blog]. I changed it a little to suit my mood now. I tried something different not sticking to the conventional norms of poetry. The only lines i think that need clarification are the last two lines. Here i try to establish that we sometimes wait (when we think of old times) with our hearts filled with hope that someday we might meet that friend with whom we shared some great moments... and that passage (of wait) continues till we may meet them someday.

The Lonely Mountain top

Today was my last day at work on my second job. Reasons for moving on are several but none of which i stated overtly. Like on many previous occasions i've let go of this one too just when it would have been fruitful to stay(totally contradictory to my previous post). I've come to think that i'm one of those who makes is aware of all the alternatives but ends up making the wrong choices. Then again to prove that i've made the wrong decision I need a comparable, which obviously won't be there.

Last time I quit to pursue my higher studies and get back to bombay, this time i'm leaving bombay to move to pune because i feel that it's a good strategic career move. Besides when i've said that i benchmark against myself i'm not just making a statement. I know deep within that i've been miserable at work. I've not even been at 60% percent of my capability. How you ask?? Sometimes you get a gut feeling and you know that your efforts were just way short or off target. To that i do not attribute my cause onto anyone. Too short a life we live to blame. Personally i feel that i'm at the top of my game and that i can strategize bigger battles and the moment is right to carry on... I can see the mountaintops awaiting me and i had to be untangled from this web of self-deceit for i have a tryst to keep. So in that i'll rest myself for the time being.

To my team if you ever read this someday: I meant every word of what I said. I may have sounded clichéd but it wasn't intentional. I may have forgotten a few thing probably. It wasn't something i prepared for. Work apart, you all reside in a part of me somewhere...I knew because when i walked home tonight the dislike towards all that we've gone didn't exist and I felt 10 years from now when i'd be retrospecting of these days only the fresh memories will resurface.

Parting today was hard though i never felt that slowly the thread that binds us all together had become stronger and stronger. How I wish life threw up more alternatives sometimes !! You have all been amazing and enthusiastic angels and ..... truly I Love you all.

I don't know how to end this one or probably i don't want to end this one.. so i'll keep it this way ... To you all, my wishes are for only the best your heart desires... Hasta Luego Amigos... You are all larger than life.